My Heart Aches For You

My heart aches for you, my dear

friend, your tremendous courage,

persistence and fighting spirit are

admirable and left me speechless

on many occasions

Your strong belief in your god has

saved you numerous times from

taking your life, the closeness of

your family rejuvenates your spirit

on a daily basis

When you're gone, your absence will

not go unnoticed, an empty place will

be left in my heart - but your song

will live forever

If there is a purpose behind physical pain

and suffering, please tell me what it is -

everywhere little candles are burning

in remembrance of loved ones who

lost their lives to cancer - and those

who are still fighting for survival

Little candles might evoke a feeling

of care and sympathy and bind us

to shedding tears

Go With The Flow

We can structure our mornings and days
plan each minute and hour
at the end, the universe, the energy 
around us decides what it will dish out

We just need to take what life gives us
and not trying to mould it to be exactly 
as we want it to be

To go with the flow was impossible as a child 
growing up in a typical Afrikaner environment...
I raged against it, when I left home as a young 
adult restricted by the rules of society...
I rebelled against it

Only much later
when nothing made sense anymore
and my days and nights turned
into endless black holes
when the "kick" of ecstasy
held no thrill anymore...

Only then I became conscious of my 
spiritual needs and intellectual demands
the art to surrender, to stop fighting with the 
universe and mostly with myself became a 
selfish need, an endless craving that could 
only be fed by the power of self-realisation 

There is a peaceful yet focused energy 
that accompanies each of us
it is not for us to fight against life but 
rather to work with it

Let reality be reality
let things flow naturally
in whatever way they like

Down The Rabbit Hole

If given a choice
would one choose to merely exist?
Endless days floating into each other
a comfortable state of Non-Being.
Or would one, just like Neo’s awakening
after eating the red pill, start questioning
our beliefs about the world
and attempt to discover
what exists behind all illusions?  

To many, it may seem like it is easier
to remain in reality
through the eyes of society, one who questions
may seem mad, lost …  

The world we see is a mere shadow of what truly exists
everything in our world
exists as an idea
like Alice in Wonderland led by the White Rabbit
down the rabbit hole,
I can truly agree 

“If I had a world of my own,
everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't
And contrarywise, what is, it wouldn't be.
And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?”

The Glass Cabinet

Grandma left me her glass corner

display cabinet - I used to spend

hours in front of it when I was

small, memorising all the little

ornaments grandma carefully  

collected through the years

Except for her wedding band,

this is the only other item which

holds immense sentimental value

for me because every piece in that

display cabinet suggested a million

stories about grandma to me

This is why I simply cannot

comprehend why you refuse to

return what is so dear to me -

I cannot understand how a

person can be be so utterly

selfish and materialistic

I keep the memories of that

glass cabinet close to my heart,

grandma’s presence still lingers

on - the memories I have of her

is the one thing that NOBODY,

not even you, can take away

Nirvana

In her poem "Stripping life of it's sweetness"

my friend, Margaret Alice Second writes,  

" I keep searching for deeper meanings"
 as she refuses
 to believe life is only

about surviving the boredom

of daily rituals

‘Suppress and control’

‘divide and conquer’
‘relax and allow’ are
not foreign words
to either of us

We fully understand
life is about suffering
caused by craving and

aversion,  nevertheless

we believe suffering can

be overcome, therefore

it is possible to reach a

state of happiness and

contentment

The only antidote is salvation of self

facing life as it is, not resisting the

flow of daily living; 
learning from

personal experience

Then, through practice, 

attain a higher level of existence

and finally reach

our Nirvana

DJ Nawtyness


She creates beats
tricks and effects on EQ
understanding and perceiving sound
capturing the essence in a pair of speakers

I watch the people
they dance to her beats
the rhythm takes them through
endless journeys
playing havoc with their emotions

In a state of trance
they sway their bodies
like puppets
DJ Nawtyness controlling the strings
pulling them back and forth
and then back again

Her lips pull into a tiny smile 
heart beating in sync
with the sounds she created
then finds her fullfilment 
in knowing that 
her music,
is understood by everyone

The little black book

I have a little black book

words of wisdom

gathered over the years

notes, eye-openers

realizations….

That the origin of good and evil

is deeply rooted in one’s own heart

there is a scheme to life

we can either embrace it or run from it

Being yourself is very difficult

in a society where anything out of the ordinary

are either labelled  or condemned

and one should never believe in anything

simply because it is written as the absolute truth

Hatred can turn one’s days and nights into

hellish turmoil

trust is earned

religion is not restricted

to temples and sacred writings

Death is a painful truth

tenderness and kindness

are not signs of weakness

once spoken,

words can never be reversed.

The little black book

now is with all the others

on my shelve

a constant reminder

that life is a process

a mystical journey

a true version of oneself

A Number

November 2010
I became a statistic
labled - criminal -
within twenty minutes
my world came
tumbling down

Handcuffed
chains around the ankles
in case I have the urge
to run away

suffocating in a small holding cell

Mixed emotions
fear...anxiety...sadness...hopelessness
and so my life begins
a small part in a minority group

a number